June 4, 2023

General Hospital Spoilers Monday 5/8/2023

Here’s a look at ABC’s official spoilers/vague preview for the upcoming episode of General Hospital.

Monday, May 8, 2023 (Season 60, Episode 165)

  • Dex steals time with Josslyn.
  • Sonny enlists Diane’s help.
  • Carly has a frank talk with Dante.
  • A body is recovered.
  • Willow gives Michael food for thought.

Fun Fact: This is the 15,216th episode of General Hospital to air since its debut on April 1st, 1963.

General Hospital Spoilers 5/8/2023: Dex steals time with Josslyn.

Will #Jex go back in time? Or just get back in bed?

Will Joss be time-traveling again, but this time with Dex in tow? What do I mean by time-traveling again? You must have forgotten about that special stand-alone episode from November 2020. Let’s recap.

In what can only be described as a completely batshit tribute celebrating the 100th anniversary of women’s voting rights, Joss and Trina step into a voting booth on display at Ava’s gallery to pretend to cast a ballot as any normal college freshman would. That’s when the duo was transported back to Port Charles in the year 1920 where they interact with the pioneering women of the suffragette movement- all of whom were ancestors of modern-day PC women and players by the same actresses. Totally. Fucking. Weird.

Anyway, the spoiler could be taken as Joss and Dex breaking the space-time continuum. But in all likelihood, Dex and Joss are still in bed discussing how Dex is not going to get in any trouble for his part in Sonny’s weapons deal. You know, since the FBI will give him immunity for going undercover without any oversight from law enforcement. Either way, I don’t blame this couple for enjoying some sexy time before the shit hits the fan.

General Hospital Spoilers 5/8/2023: Sonny enlists Diane’s help.

And Diane will help him, because that’s what friends (and highly paid defense attorneys) do for their friends (and their wealthy clients).

Sonny’s going to ask Diane to help Carly beat these insider trading charges- which is nice of him. It’s also very ironic that Sonny has no idea Nina went full-Karen and tipped off the SEC. Regardless, Diane will probably take on the case, sparing viewers from having to see her makeout with Robert Scorpio.

Now I’m not saying adults over 60 can’t be sexy. I mean, have you seen Finola Hughes? But Diane and Robert? That couple is as romantic as an episode of Antiques Roadshow– and probably just as dusty.

General Hospital Spoilers 5/8/2023: Carly has a frank talk with Dante.

What does Dante have to do to get some time alone with Sam?

Dante is just trying to get through another day as the only detective in Port Charles and now he has to deal with his ex-stepmother’s lying ass. Can this man get some time in bed with Sam? Dante’s blue balls are this show’s biggest struggle. But I digress.

What frank conversation could be had between Carly and Dante? Well, she might admit that Drew didn’t run off to Hawaii and that he’s in fact “somewhere in Greenland”. This would mean throwing Sonny under the bus for lying to the police. Chances are Carly will almost tell the truth until Diane shows up right in the nick of time. Either way, Dante is over this shit- and who could blame him?

General Hospital Spoilers 5/8/2023: A body is recovered.

Who could it possibly be? (God, I hope it’s Holly).

If I had my way, the dead body being found would mean Holly caught on fire again. But chances are it will be Victor Cassidine who turns up dead.

I’m hopeful that Charles Shaughnessy will return one day as a ghost or a hallucination, which isn’t unheard of for dead Cassidines on this show. And since I’m feeling optimistic, I’ll put this out to the universe: maybe, Holly will spontaneously combust later this week.

General Hospital Spoilers 5/8/2023: Willow gives Michael some food for thought.

Willow inches one step closer to death- and I’m one step closer to looking forward to it.

First of all, it’s going to take a lot more than a snack for Michael to have any meaningful brain function. If Willow does die, she’ll leave this earth the luckiest bride in the world.

Willow is committed to spending her final moments convincing Michael to patch things up with Sonny- for Wiley’s sake. That kid deserves a relationship with his grandfather, the arms-dealing criminal who dumped Wiley’s grandmother to bang his other grandmother. I get it- family’s really important to these people.

I hope you enjoyed my take on the General Hospital Spoilers for Monday 5/8/2023.

Check back later this week as I try to make sense of the incredibly vague previews released by ABC. You can expect me to speculate on what might happen in the next episode of my favorite show. One thing is for sure, I’ll be mocking the longest-running soap opera in television history because there’s nothing better than roasting what you love.

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